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The Light Through the Cracks

by A Rapper Named Nati

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1.
The Light 05:07
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Imagine A white house All concrete Not brick Concrete Dreary It looks like chalk A broken home Literally There are cracks in the concrete Inside the house is dim You feel like you’re trapped there Like there’s no escape Like you’ll die there But every once in a while The light From outside seeps through the cracks And gives you hope That’s where I was raised These four walls feel like a padded cell I’m all alone now, no one to ask for help Wanna go home now, I’m mad as hell They just got the phone call, my dad’s in jail They don’t have to tell me it’s a DUI I’m just a kid, but I can read between the lines My old man’s an alcoholic, I can see the signs They tell me this is where I have to sleep tonight No, I wanna go home. “But you are home” I guess this is home until tomorrow But if tomorrow never comes, will they feel sorrow? It’s an honest question. I lost direction I put the knife up to my wrist but upon reflection I realized this isn’t how I wanna exit You can see the scars still if you look close Guess it’s a hard pill, but I took both I can see the light through the cracks in the concrete I can see the sun through this hole in the wall In the wintertime, I hope the snow doesn’t fall ‘Cause we don’t have heat if the stove isn’t on But I can see the light through the cracks in the concrete I can see the sun through this hole in the wall It gives me hope when I’m supposed to be strong It lets me know I’ll find a home and belong These four walls feel like they’re cavin’ in It doesn’t help at all that they’re paper thin I can hear every word that you say to him His voice is raised, better pray he never raised his fist I lock my door and I play pretend Turn the music up until it’s safe again I wrote a couple songs, tryin’ to make it big But I just got picked on for my pasty skin I wanna tell him fuck you but I’m too young to Even though I want to, no one to talk to Everyone is gone and they don’t know what I’ve gone through But I know they went through worse than me I get so mad that it hurts to breathe I spent my whole life trying to search for peace But growing up all I heard was screams And I thought I’d get hurt if I turned the cheek, but I can see the light through the cracks in the concrete I can see the sun through this hole in the wall In the wintertime, I hope the snow doesn’t fall ‘Cause we don’t have heat if the stove isn’t on But I can see the light through the cracks in the concrete I can see the sun through this hole in the wall It gives me hope when I’m supposed to be strong It lets me know I’ll find a home and belong These four walls feel like they’re closin’ in Stuck between despair and hopelessness No one seems to care or notice it I don’t think I can bare to shoulder this Weight or cope with it. It’s hard to hide denial Home is where the heart is, by a mile Even through the hardship, I try to smile I’ve been livin’ in the darkness for quite a while But I can see the light through the cracks I can see the lies from the past I could see my life as it flashed Right before my eyes as I gasped and I tried not to crash 125 on the dash. I’ma close my eyes and relax, no seat belt I’ma fly till the wax on my wings melt But the light through the cracks, I can see well I can see the light through the cracks in the windshield I can see the sky through this hole in the door In the meantime, I hope my soul isn’t torn ‘Cause you can’t have peace if your soul is at war But I can see the light through the cracks in the windshield I can see the sky through this hole in the door It lets me know that there’s supposed to be more It helps me grow like a rose full of thorns
2.
Baptism by Fire 03:20
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I was baptized by fire I think how all the bad times transpired Been runnin’ my whole damn life, I’m tired I never had a chance, I had the lighter Baby, I was baptized by fire I think how all the bad times transpired Been runnin’ my whole damn life, I’m tired I never had a chance, I was baptized by fire I don’t fit in, I don’t belong I tried to swim but couldn’t float for long Baptized in sin and broken bonds. But I won’t give in, my hope is strong. Born afraid as a sinner with a noble cause On the bank of the river with open palms I prayed to convince ‘em we could both be wrong Couldn’t think of the words, so I wrote this song I know I’m off putting, not known for niceness But I never lost footing, all I’ve shown is kindness Though we’re better off left to our own devices That’s little consolation to a soul in crisis The little complications are so divisive I don’t wanna die all alone and frightened When I close my eyelids, all cold and lifeless Just know that I did not go in silence Baby, I was baptized by fire I think how all the bad times transpired Been runnin’ my whole damn life, I’m tired I never had a chance, I was baptized by fire I drifted through the darkness till I found the light Said listen to your heart, kid. That’s sound advice When I was a kid, I almost drowned and died I guess I tried my best to forget it happened But my stepdad tried to let it happen Sittin’ back and doin’ nothin’ was his best reaction A real man would’ve taken defensive action Imagine how much hatred that meant he had in His heart for me. It’s hard to breathe Three brothers, two sisters - we hardly speak We weren’t raised together. I prayed I could change the weather. It felt like it’d rain forever. But that’s just the way it went for me Nine years was the age discrepancy We never seemed to be on the same trajectory They never used the same yardstick to measure me I was baptized by fire I think how all the bad times transpired Been runnin’ my whole damn life, I’m tired I never had a chance, I had the lighter Baby, I was baptized by fire I think how all the bad times transpired Been runnin’ my whole damn life, I’m tired I never had a chance, I was baptized by fire
3.
Reincarnation 05:12
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My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation They said the time’ll come, but it’s hard waitin’ Call it malpractice, I lost patience I only fear God, I outsmart Satan My only fear of death is reincarnation They wanna play a role but that part’s taken They wanna play games I don’t partake in I know this might sound like a harsh statement But my only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation I wanna live while I’m not dead But I’ll never forget what Pac said My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation It’s hard when lame dudes be livin’ your dream We’re in the same movie, different scenes Havin’ nightmares, me killed in my sleep Paranoia clouds the visions I see I’m helpless, the fear is invading My health is deteriorating I can feel the interior aging You can see the exterior fading Critics calculate that clearly I’m crazy Cynics castin’ shade don’t appear to have phased me If they kick in the door, hope I’m near a .380 Won’t be on the floor askin’ Siri to save me Should probably see a shrink. This is serious maybe The prophecy is bleak and mysterious lately The mirror is breaking. I’m weary and angry And lleery of shady peers who betray me They said the time’ll come, but it’s hard waitin’ Call it malpractice, I lost patience I only fear God, I outsmart Satan My only fear of death is reincarnation They wanna play a role but that part’s taken They wanna play games I don’t partake in I know this might sound like a harsh statement But my only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation I wanna live while I’m not dead But I’ll never forget what Pac said My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation People lookin’ at me, I feel trapped Take solace in the fact that it will pass Even when I’m happy, I feel bad But even when I’m sad, I can still laugh But there’s no punchlines this time around No timeouts, no time to doubt Hope I survive the final round ‘Cause I don’t wanna die right now But yesterday was a different story In the end, I pray that my kids adore me But my fuse is short, someone lit it for me And the truth is more than a little gory Hope I’m rich at 40. I was broke at 30 If it don’t help my family eat, then it don’t concern me Sippin’ brandy neat, vision goin’ blurry They say I can’t compete, but it won’t deter me They said the time’ll come, but it’s hard waitin’ Call it malpractice, I lost patience I only fear God, I outsmart Satan My only fear of death is reincarnation They wanna play a role but that part’s taken They wanna play games I don’t partake in I know this might sound like a harsh statement But my only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation I wanna live while I’m not dead But I’ll never forget what Pac said My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation My only fear of death is reincarnation
4.
March 28 06:32
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In the end, you’re my friend, not a rival But where’s the respect in bein’ lied to? You don’t really know me like you claim you do You don’t come around like you say you do You’re a liar and a phony and a fake and a fraud And a bunch of other things I won’t say on the song You are not my homie like you claim you are It’ll come around when you play your cards You’re a liar and a phony and a fake and a fraud And a bunch of other things I won’t say on the song Back when we were talkin’, you weren’t talkin’ much Then you stopped talkin’, haven’t talked in months I never understood what the problem was But when it comes to drama, I’m not the one So you can do your thang, I’ma do mine Even though we used to hang like a loose tie Are you real or fake? Gotta choose sides You will seal your fate in due time It’s ironic how the truth lies in black hearts, I blew minds I read between a few lines, gettin’ green like I move white Celebrity is a huge vice, I bet you’re seen in a new light Don’t let your dreams make you blind. You’ll never see your crew shine I’m really concerned about your energy Your lack of effort seems to suggest a theme, regrettably You went from a brother to an enemy In the end it seems, you pretend to be a friend to me You don’t really know me like you claim you do You don’t come around like you say you do You’re a liar and a phony and a fake and a fraud And a bunch of other things I won’t say on the song You are not my homie like you claim you are It’ll come around when you play your cards You’re a liar and a phony and a fake and a fraud And a bunch of other things I won’t say on the song I already saw how you played your hand Now my circle smaller than a grain of sand Do you walk with God on a strengthened path? Or were you baptized in fire by Satan’s hand? I’ma do my thang, you can do yours I’ma prove today that the truth hurts Gotta find the right fit like a new shirt Before you drive the knife in, I got two words And I don’t even have to say ‘em. Had some demons, had to slay ‘em Now you see him as you made him. They perceive him and portray him As an evil incarnation, ‘cause genius gets forsaken And easily mistaken. Your weakness is your hatred I’m done showin’ sympathy and empathy No indemnity for your selfish needs and tendencies I don’t really think that there’s a remedy There could never be. But revenge is sweet. You’re dead to me! You don’t really know me like you claim you do You don’t come around like you say you do You’re a liar and a phony and a fake and a fraud And a bunch of other things I won’t say on the song You are not my homie like you claim you are It’ll come around when you play your cards You’re a liar and a phony and a fake and a fraud And a bunch of other things I won’t say on the song Supposed to be my friend, we ain’t talked in nine months Sent you 20 texts, you ain’t thought to try once And I was convinced once we were family We were kids once and we had a dream I thought we’d make it a reality But that mentality was based upon a fantasy Your actions seem to reveal the truth and the fallacies I always kept it real with you. That’s just the man in me Can’t believe we actually used to say we’re brothers Used to be my day one, homie. Now your days are numbered I was tryin to see the sun through the rain and thunder I never believed a word from your baby mother I always had your back against the allegations I said they’re lies, severed ties, earned my castigation Had the same aspirations, never had a chance to make it I guess the path you’ve taken lead you back to Satan March 28th That was the day The Committee died The day the end was solidified Our friendship survived rumors and vicious lies I used to sympathize. Now you’re viewed in a different light We were undone by your own hubris You really think I’m that fuckin’ stupid? Like, how hard is it to send a text? How hard is it to get respect? Almost twenty years, the best of friends But then again, it’s unclear what you represent Used to be my bro even though we weren’t born as brothers You don’t even seem to know we’ve been torn asunder Our friendship is dead, can’t resuscitate I really thought we were meant for somethin’ great This is hard, it’s too much to take You died to me on March 28th
5.
A Million Ways (feat. M.I.C.) 04:00
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There’s little kids out here overdosin’ on heroin ‘Cause they ain’t got no heroes or heroines When shootin’ up and tyin’ off is their therapist They’re shootin’ up entire blocks out in Maryland When the American Dream isn’t as fair as it seems It’s such a dreary routine, it’s just a pyramid scheme School shootings, not a year in between Hearin’ the screams before police appear on the scene Children missin’, no anonymous tips It feels like we slipped into a bottomless pit They don’t wanna admit that these problems exist And they still won’t drink the water in Flint A million ways to die, better choose one They refuse ta let ya move up to a new rung On the ladder of life. It’s just a matter of time Before they put your brain matter on ice A million ways to live, a million ways to die A million ways to give your all instead of wasting time You can live a million ways, welfare and minimum wage Gettin’ rich off criminal ways, pop a pill to get rid of the pain A million ways to die, a million ways to live We’re just tryin’ to stay alive and raise our kids You can die a million ways, any time and any place This life is give and take. We survive with different stakes I remember back in the day when I had to work that fast food I was always super tired and I was always in a bad mood But I did just what I had to. I did what any dad do ‘Cause when you got kids you ready to do anything that you just have to I was sick of grease and sticky cheese and a 50 piece They were in the front tryna flip some meat, I was sittin’ in the back tryna kick a beat I don’t really care if you hip to me ‘cause I got legs, I’ma hit the street If you wanna go get wit the beef, I’ma tell you right now you better back back gimme 50 feet I promise it won’t bother me if you don’t wanna follow me I keep my mind on money and everyday it keeps callin’ me And if you try to stand in my way, you must need a lobotomy I’m sorry I’m not sorry, no apologies I can remember when they said I'd never make it When they said I'd never make it, when they said I'd never make it I can remember back when everybody hated Back when everybody hated, back when everybody hated A million ways to live, a million ways to die A million ways to give your all instead of wasting time You can live a million ways, welfare and minimum wage Gettin’ rich off criminal ways, pop a pill to get rid of the pain A million ways to die, a million ways to live We’re just tryin’ to stay alive and raise our kids You can die a million ways, any time and any place This life is give and take. We survive with different stakes Trying to make it out this place, yet it’s rare that we thrive Livin’ paycheck to paycheck, we barely survive Sometimes it feels like we’re buried alive Scared and deprived, that’s why we carry the .9 They’ll look you square in the eyes, tell you arrogant lies But if you stare into mine, you’ll see the care and the pride They’re aware of the crime. Ain’t nowhere you can hide Unless you turn a blind eye to despair and deny We’re just tryin to get a slice of the American pie They don’t wanna see the pain we inherit subside All I see is hate, love’s on an apparent decline We’ll always be afraid. Trust would be very unwise I’m sure the pastor of the parish is fine Takin’ every last dime they can spare and can tithe We’re all just actors. So we wear a disguise A million different factors why we perish and die A million ways to live, a million ways to die A million ways to give your all instead of wasting time You can live a million ways, welfare and minimum wage Gettin’ rich off criminal ways, pop a pill to get rid of the pain A million ways to die, a million ways to live We’re just tryin’ to stay alive and raise our kids You can die a million ways, any time and any place This life is give and take. We survive with different stakes
6.
Thoughts & Prayers (feat. Rubix) 04:30
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Life is hard, it ain’t always fair Tryin’ to fight the odds is the bond we share Tryin’ to find a job, ain’t got a lot to spare The system’s flawed and it’s broken beyond repair I used to wonder if my father cared He would pick me up drunk and leave my mama scared You didn’t wanna be around when he was on a tear But I left my mama’s house and left the drama there No pillow talkin’, watch the gossip. We don’t talk to squares The last thing you wanna do is make the cops aware They’ll throw you in a box without cause or care I ain’t visit my bro when he was locked in there One of my biggest regrets, but it’s my cross to bear People love a train wreck. They just stop and stare Often we’re not prepared for the awkward glares And all they have to offer is thoughts and prayers Thoughts and prayers Lift me up, carry me Thoughts and prayers I don’t know what’s there for me Thoughts and prayers Give me love, share the dream Thoughts and prayers Music is my therapy With my open mind, life no longer feels like a hopeless grind My soul resides in a place that I’ve always hoped to find I slowly ride the roller coaster life has chose to guide me A lonely climb, my arms are weak but I just hold ‘em high I know that I better enjoy before the whole decline Every high has a low, so I’ve learned that low is fine There’s hope in sight. Grab my shoe strings and pull ‘em tight I’m running through this battlefield that is filled with loaded mines Gold and diamonds I don’t require, there’s no desire Only hope for fire and passion for going higher I’ve learned when a loved one hurts you, just hold ‘em tight You can lose everything in a minute there’s no rewind There ain’t too many like me, I may be the only kind This world is too dark for my heart so I only shine We need the love, not the hate, the timing may be in prime I keep my family in my thoughts and they pray for me all the time Thoughts and prayers Lift me up, carry me Thoughts and prayers I don’t know what’s there for me Thoughts and prayers Give me love, share the dream Thoughts and prayers Music is my therapy I got a lifetime of scars to hide I’ve been searchin’ for solace but it’s been hard to find Tried to purchase some knowledge but got my card declined Tryin’ to learn to be honest but I just cross the line I’ve been losin’ sleep, prayin’ for a lucid dream Try to let the music speak, but no one hears it through the screams I need this booze to drink, the only thing that’s soothing me ‘Cuz if I died right now, I don’t know who would read my eulogy They keep tellin’ me that god is great But he don’t ever seem to answer when I call his name I’ma get the help I need, just not today The truth is I’m afraid of what the doc would say Life is pain till they lay you in the coffin bare That’s the price we pay. We debate whether the cost is fair So just keep me in your thoughts and prayers ‘Cuz one day you’ll wake up and I might not be there Thoughts and prayers Lift me up, carry me Thoughts and prayers I don’t know what’s there for me Thoughts and prayers Give me love, share the dream Thoughts and prayers Music is my therapy
7.
Brand New Disguise (feat. Tre Haze) 03:22
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I wasn’t gifted a glamorous life As a kid, I was sad all the time Never smiled, I was camera shy As a child I was asked why I cried I really wished I could answer, but I Didn’t know why I was damaged inside Despite all the fears in the back of my mind I dried all my tears and I managed to fight Stand in the night, hands in the sky Askin’ him why, actually I can’t see the light Atrophy my hands as I write, craft, and design Raps that I rhyme. Throw my notepad to the side Hand me the mic, antsy to sign Man, it’d be nice. Family ties damaged by lies Can’t be denied, stand for what’s right Actions decide if I have to provide a brand new disguise I’m just tryin’ to understand what it’s like I never really had a chance to decide They wanna kill me but I manage to fight Hide in plain sight with a brand new disguise I know they try to plan my demise Never really had a chance to survive You don’t wanna cross paths or collide Hide in plain sight with a brand new disguise Yeah, challenge when I'm dealing with adversity No reason when they question my integrity Jealousy soaking in like its chemically Keep yo head down before you end up like a Kennedy It was the obstacles, that I've overcome Seen things I should've been shielded from Went down the rabbit hole but I'm comin’ right back With the shit I should've never done How I know people around all wearing a mask? They got answers, how I know what questions to ask? Stress building up, that's why I carry a flask Hang on ever drop, like it's my last Did it on my own when I was alone Disguised by the evil but it seems like The more I try the more they already know I’m just tryin’ to understand what it’s like I never really had a chance to decide They wanna kill me but I manage to fight Hide in plain sight with a brand new disguise I know they try to plan my demise Never really had a chance to survive You don’t wanna cross paths or collide Hide in plain sight with a brand new disguise I don’t want my kids left as orphans Now everything else is less important The doc said my blood pressure’s soarin’ I’ve been feelin’ like Dexter Morgan I’m not human, I’ve been fakin’ emotion Talkin’ a moment just to put it all in place and expose it I’m basically broken. It seems there’s no way to control it Patiently waitin’ and hopin’ just to face my atonement And I pray there’s no afterlife I’ve been depressed over half my life It’s not a question of sacrifice I’m asking Christ to turn back the hands of time I can’t tell if I’m cursed or I’m blessed I’m hurtin’ and stressed, feelin’ like a burden to friends Burnin’ both ends, I’m just tryin’ to do my personal best And earn my respect, ‘cause the only thing that’s certain is death I’m just tryin’ to understand what it’s like I never really had a chance to decide They wanna kill me but I manage to fight Hide in plain sight with a brand new disguise I know they try to plan my demise Never really had a chance to survive You don’t wanna cross paths or collide Hide in plain sight with a brand new disguise
8.
The Sixteenth Minute 03:10
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Back in high school, I went to school high Finally graduated to a new life Now I’m in the shade, sittin’ poolside Yeah, they’re throwin’ shade, but I’m too bright I used to leave my problems with the booth mic Or in the ashtray, but for the last eight I ain’t have a way to cope. Didn’t have a ray of hope Just a black cloud, watchin’ the rain approach Leviathan, Goliath wins ‘till David throws The Stone. Cut your head off and claim the throne Maybe I’m jaded but fame is so lame and overrated Save your soul, you got a ways to go I’m tryna lead the league, make you rookies flee I’m tryna be the king like Booker T You don’t wanna get stuck where you shouldn’t be I don’t wanna end up like Pusha T Over 40 in some beef for publicity. These are magazines, not Clipse, capisce? And I don’t mean the type of mags that your kids can read Listen, please. I got shooters like Pistol Pete I’m tryna get this ring, Bill Russell - ‘63 Oh, you still hustle? You must be flippin’ keys I’m tryin’ to build muscle, no Creatine Flip like a gymnast, spit like I’m missin’ teeth Gold chains for the click like Mr. T But you are not the A-Team, you’re a different team We’re not even the same league, you’re little league They’re tryin’ to wind me up. But I don’t pitch relief I paint vivid scenes like Van Gogh Even your bitch can see and your mans know Whether I spit sixteen or spit for sixteen minutes I hope I get to see my sixteenth minute When in doubt, breath in and let it out If I ain’t the best out, at least I’m better now I gotta make sure that the check ain’t bounce I really gotta make the next decade count Bae What cha doin? Where ya at? Who ya with? Quit playin’ with me I’m behind your house right now I love you and miss you and need you I need some of that domestic violence pussy Hit me up I love you
9.
Bae 03:42
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I love you and miss you and need you Wanna hug you and kiss you and squeeze you Fuck you and lick you and please you Never the one to mislead you I'm givin' you full transparency. We're very deep in love I can see it when you stare at me. You're my therapy, my drug I love the way you take care of me. Please marry me at once A life that you can share with me sincerity and trust It's such a thrill when we get it in. No pills. You my medicine You my lil' boo thang, my Wu-Tang Forever shit It's yours, bae. The emphasis on foreplay is evident I gave it to you once and it's been yours ever since I love it when we kiss and our lips lock Can't believe you're the one that slid in my inbox You gon feel this dick in your ribs, watch I'll hit spots you ain't even know exist, ma Losin' my mind, bruisin' your thighs Music to my ears when I hear you scream at the top of your lungs I want you to cum for Daddy Put this cock on your tongue I'm watchin' you suck You feel it in the back of your throat, gag you and choke Make you cum in every position When we're done remember to lick it Want you to taste yourself Remember the way it felt When I was deep inside of you tryin' to teach you a lesson I'll eat you for breakfast, come back eager for seconds And barely whet my appetite. No sacrifice too big or small You Hypnotize me, no Biggie Smalls I'm addicted. I get withdrawals Sinful thoughts, wicked that get me off Admitted flaws never give you pause. I'ma hit raw Give me a taste, sit on my face Puttin' in work, no minimum wage Love the way you quiver and quake Liftin ya legs, shiver and shake Hittin' your cervix, isn't it perfect I don't know what I did to deserve it Swear to God I'm a different person Give you the version that's best Look at them curves in that dress Baby, you're sure to impress Remove your shirt and undress And let me squirt on your breasts Give you that daddy dick Make it disappear like a magic trick Fact is it's crystal clear that you can't resist Hit it from the back and switch. You might hear the camera click Pussy so good it got me askin' where you at and shit This is dedicated devotion Premeditated the motion, we create a commotion Got you shakin' and moanin'. There ain't no fakin', we own it Ain't no way to control it. No hesitation, I'm focused You got my undivided attention. I can't deny the obsession My intention is spendin' my whole life in your presence Who knew we'd find a connection? You a whole vibe and it's precious It's divine intervention intertwined in a blessing Talk shit, we havin' angry sex. Makin' love and makin' threats You take away my breath. I stay impressed By the things you do, the way you dress, everything you say and said You my greatest quest. We show each other the same respect Your actions amaze me. I'm glad that you saved me The passion is crazy. I need to see that ass on the daily I'll rock my grey sweatpants, take advantage and rape me You got me doin' math. Let's go half on a baby Baby girl, you a whole blessing I know you love me, no question You my soulmate and my best friend You so bae, nothing less than Before Anything Else Always put you before anything else I always make sure that you come first And when we fuck, make you cum first Before Anything Else Always put you before anything else Before Anything Else Always put you before anything else
10.
Blacker than Blue 03:13
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I don’t know what happened to you I don’t know what happened to you You can’t hide the past or the truth You can’t hide the past or the truth Nobody asked you to choose Nobody asked you to choose Your soul is blacker than blue Your soul is blacker than blue You got a light and a dark side You try to keep ‘em separated like apartheid You’re a smart guy, but you lived a hard life Workin’ part time, still can’t pay the harsh price They think you need to pay. The guilt just eats away At your soul. You lose control tryin’ to keep your faith You took the easy way ‘cause you’re weak and vain Eternal love, you turn to drugs just to ease the pain You never know what the passion will do You wanna sell your soul for some racks and a coupe I noticed that your soul is tattered and bruised But you gave into the darkness, so it’s blacker than blue Now I don’t recognize who you are I empathize ‘cause it’s hard We knew it right from the start And now it’s time to depart I don’t know what happened to you I don’t know what happened to you You can’t hide the past or the truth You can’t hide the past or the truth Nobody asked you to choose Nobody asked you to choose Your soul is blacker than blue Your soul is blacker than blue Thought we were cut from the same cloth Turns out you’re a fraud - Bernie Madoff I was tryin’ see my squad in the playoffs But then my Migo thought he should Takeoff I tried to Offset a great loss Turns out I’m better off with the fakes gone It’s been two fuckin’ years and we ain’t talked I’m really sick of hearin’ the same song You never see how your actions confuse You have some tendencies that you have to improve You think you’re owed a lot ‘cause the damage induced I bet your soul will rot ‘cause it’s blacker than blue You never tried to be strong Should’ve severed ties all along I know my right from my wrong I know it’s time to move on I don’t know what happened to you I don’t know what happened to you You can’t hide the past or the truth You can’t hide the past or the truth Nobody asked you to choose Nobody asked you to choose Your soul is blacker than blue Your soul is blacker than blue
11.
Addiction 03:20
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I’m going through it Deep down inside I know the truth is All this alcohol won’t improve it I’ve been told I’m clueless, slow, and stupid A hopeless nuisance, a piece of shit They used to tell me daily I don’t need a V12 Mercedes I just need some help in paying all these bills, it’s crazy. They’re trying to kill me lately. The pills I’m taking Are for headaches. I don’t do drugs Mostly because they cost too much And I don’t just mean financially They’ll take a toll on your family They’ll break your soul and humanity But I suppose that we’re actually All addicts in reality (Prescription) pills, coke, and weed (Addiction) kills hopes and dreams Dollar bills, clothes, and bling We’re all addicted to somethin’ Ecstasy, PCP, Methamphetamine Ketamine, codeine, and promethazine Liquor, speed, caffeine, and nicotine We’re all addicted to somethin’ We’re all just addicts trying to kick the habit Trying to live and balance all the shit that happens All the bills we pay, all the pills we take ‘Cause we feel this pain lookin for real escape We’re all addicted to somethin’ Whether it is a substance You can snort or ingest it or some sort of obsession Assorted possessions with enormous investments For the poor and pretentious. No morals or ethics You’re no more or no less any mortal you mention Sprinkle a little meth in your morning refreshments And hope they won’t be mourning your unfortunate exit You don’t wanna take a trip to the morgue with a death wish You can keep the Percocets, don’t do more than Excedrin Save the problems for tomorrow, Prozac if you’re stressin’ At the bottom of a bottle trying to manage depression You turn to drugs ‘cause they offer relief It’s a crutch when you fall to your knees You never stop ‘cause they call it disease And self-medication is all that you need (Prescription) pills, coke, and weed (Addiction) kills hopes and dreams Dollar bills, clothes, and bling We’re all addicted to somethin’ Ecstasy, PCP, Methamphetamine Ketamine, codeine, and promethazine Liquor, speed, caffeine, and nicotine We’re all addicted to somethin’ We’re all just addicts trying to kick the habit Trying to live and balance all the shit that happens All the bills we pay, all the pills we take ‘Cause we feel this pain lookin for real escape
12.
Intentions 03:44
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My adversaries seem glad to bury me They act scarily but lack sincerity Phantoms from my past in my path preparin’ me Their plan is to attack when relaxed and perish me I’m a man, I don’t ask for charity I’ll stand till they put me in the casket, carry me Ten toes in the sand till it’s glass apparently I’ma get the last laugh, so I laugh hysterically I’m losin’ traction en masse with clarity I rebuke their actions, reactin’ carefully Truth and passion attract severity But true compassion is lax inherently The music acts as a mask for therapy A fuse attached to a tragic terror scene I threw a match in a can of kerosene Bury me with the strap, hope the planet cherished me I need to talk to God in heaven I need to tell him that I lost direction I need to know if I’m beyond repentance I need to show it’s not the wrong intentions I hope they hear this song in heaven I need to tell ‘em that I lost direction I need to know if I’m beyond repentance I need to show it’s not the wrong intentions My only fear of death is reincarnation Finger on the trigger and my heart’s racin’ Put the barrel to my head and I start pacin’ Like an arrow to the flesh, got a sharp pain in My chest, it might be my heart breakin’ Say goodbye to friends I gotta part ways with Like Elijah Craig, spent some dark days with Till my dyin’ breath, they try to spark anguish They wanna kill me in my sleep with my eyes closed Unarmed you’re like a sheep in a blindfold Sittin’ ducks if they creep in the side slow and decide to blow holes in your night clothes Paranoia got me seein’ sounds Squeezin’ rounds, the intruder might just be a mouse Pack the Ruger before I even leave the house ‘Cause they’ll try to take you out on an evening out I need to talk to God in heaven I need to tell him that I lost direction I need to know if I’m beyond repentance I need to show it’s not the wrong intentions I hope they hear this song in heaven I need to tell ‘em that I lost direction I need to know if I’m beyond repentance I need to show it’s not the wrong intentions There’s blood in my eyes, I can hardly see Blood on my hands as I start to grieve Ice in my veins caused my heart to freeze Hard to believe they gave the Grammy to Cardi B Pardon me? Swimming was the album of the century I just really hope Malcolm can rest in peace I know that’s the type of soul that heaven needs I felt his wings every time I felt a September breeze How has a man that I never even met or seen Affected me so heavily? I guess the tendency Is to respect and grieve celebrities for seconds each But as an artist, I’m hit hardest with empathy I guess I feel things a bit deeper I’m just tryin” to make a deal with the Grim Reaper And when I’m gone, play this song as the perfect eulogy Right or wrong, I’ll live on in purpetity I need to talk to God in heaven I need to tell him that I lost direction I need to know if I’m beyond repentance I need to show it’s not the wrong intentions I hope they hear this song in heaven I need to tell ‘em that I lost direction I need to know if I’m beyond repentance I need to show it’s not the wrong intentions
13.
Another Day (feat. A-DOT TAYLOR) 04:27
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I’m tryna find a better way You know that I will never break I’m gonna fight until the grave I’ll live to die another day I’ll live to die another day I’ll live to die another day Growing up, I was shy and timid Thought that blowing up was a wise decision They were quite dismissive of the rhymes I’d written Can’t lie that’s why I despise a critic When Nati speaks, better mind your business If I’m not the king, I’m in line to get it Everything that I have, had to fight to get it So you know I’m a fight till the final minute Trying to leave a legacy when my life is finished Hope you remember me when the light diminish No time for jealousy, can’t deny the vision All my life been told that the sky’s the limit But I don’t really know if the sky’s enough You never really know when your time is up Time to elevate, gotta rise on up They been sending hate disguised as love You can celebrate when you find your crutch You can medicate with all kinds of drugs You can spend your days inside the club You can get away to an island, but You can’t escape reality or shape a fantasy All you’re gonna do is create calamity Replace your faculties and brain capacity With ape mentality, shame, and vanity Worse or better, you’ll never change humanity We hurt together in the face of tragedy Observe and measure, maintain the majesty Learn to never put your faith in fallacies Human nature’s amazing actually I sent out love and it made it back to me Never been outdone, they’re afraid to challenge me At this rate I happily embrace catastrophe Don’t wanna spend your days in a state of agony Don’t let your mistakes outweigh your sanity When Satan’s after me, I pray and ask for peace I’ll die another day, that’s the way it has to be I’m tryna find a better way You know that I will never break I’m gonna fight until the grave I’ll live to die another day I’ll live to die another day I’ll live to die another day I got a Golden Eye, my vision 20/20 Tomorrow Never Die, pockets can't be empty I got one shot with this Golden Gun And I'm James Bond for this Moneypenny So I hop in the booth with A License To Kill Shit, I gotta make money ‘cause I gotta pay bills Shit, I do it for a check, y'all do it for the thrill Screaming put me in coach, I go hard on the field I Thurderball a fly Under Dog Ultraviolet rays the way I'm sunning y'all Don't make me stand my ground and get my guns involved ‘Cause I'll make ‘em clap like a curtain call I'm a seasoned vet, no oregano But it's Vietnam over cheddar, bro They Cheech and Chong, you know, Up In Smoke They might tote (toke) the pipe but won't let it blow I'm on my Kanye, trying to touch the sky No Sunday Service, let me testify I don't know god but I know Yeezus My heart cold as Norwegians It's fuck ‘em all like whore season Stay going dumb like poor teaching You can keep the beef, only want the green My lifestyle is all vegan I ain't stopping until we all eating Food for thought, we all feasting Money on my mind A dollar sign is what I call thinking Balling hard on my off season Cross over, shaking off demons If money is the root of all evil Well, mothafucka, this is God preaching God damn, this Allah speaking With the voice of Farrakhan who y'all reaching Shit, they're hiding knowledge got us all seeking Living through this hell turned us all demons, mothafucka I’m tryna find a better way You know that I will never break I’m gonna fight until the grave I’ll live to die another day I’ll live to die another day I’ll live to die another day I’m tryna find a better way You know that I will never break I’m gonna fight until the grave I’ll live to die another day I’ll live to die another day I’ll live to die another day
14.
View from the Lake 04:48
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Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? I need to book a flight to LA Despite all I say, I kinda like when it rains I might miss it if I decided to stay I hate the sunshine sometimes anyway Reflecting upon what I would do for the fame Take flight with the Phoenix that grew from the flame Sun settin’ in the distance, view from the lake I’d still root for the Pistons if I moved to LA I’m a Great Laker, I’m not talkin’ LeBron I’m here to chase paper, the stocks and the bonds I might need to take a non-stop to Milan They won’t have a case without probable cause I’m from the Mitten. Listen, watch, and respond I was raised on fried chicken and lasagna from mom I only feel safe with a Glock in my palm Tryin’ to make it, faced with impossible odds Where do we go from here? All we have is hope and fear We’ve been trying to cope for years All we see is smoke and mirrors Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? I almost died in that lake For Christ’s sake, I was baptized by the flames I just hope the boat don’t capsize from the waves Chastised by the hate, can’t hide from the pain I tried to remain calm, but the truth is at stake The smell of napalm from the troops in the graves Boots on the ground and the view from the lake Without a boot on your neck, the illusion will break I’ve been known to make some stupid mistakes If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t do it the same In truth, there’s some things I’d review and would change Pray to God that Satan is rebuked in his name Another cop shot a kid, it consumed me with rage Is this the America that we choose to create? To make it great again implies it used to be great At times I’m not convinced that’s truly the case Where do we go from here? All we have is hope and fear We’ve been trying to cope for years All we see is smoke and mirrors Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Sir, I have to tell you, I do have a Okay Firearm on me Okay, don’t reach for it then I’m not, I Don’t pull it out I’m not pulling it out, I He’s not Don’t pull it out It doesn’t matter who you follow or support We should all be appalled they allow ‘em to resort To tactics that abuse the power of the force Turn around and they’re excused by the cowards in the court They got gear meant for an army in a war Another tear shed for a body in a morgue Another year spent saying sorry to a corpse They shot that man as he was crawling on the floor In the hall of the La Quinta, just following procedure Today wasn’t promised, tomorrow isn’t either The sorrow and the grief’s hard to swallow when it eats ya I’m just tryin to drown in a bottle of tequila This is for Daniel Shaver and Philando Castile And every person that was shot without brandishing steel In every version of the plot, there’s a family that feels Hurt and lost and don’t know how exactly to heal Where do we go from here? All we have is hope and fear We’ve been trying to cope for years All we see is smoke and mirrors Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? Where do we go from here? You do that again, we’re shooting you. Do you understand? Please do not shoot me Then listen to my instructions Okay, I’m trying to just do what you say Don’t talk! Listen Hands, straight up in the air Do not put your hands down for any reason You think you’re gonna fall, you better fall on your face Your hands go back in the small of your back or down We are going to shoot you. Do you understand me? Yes, sir Crawl towards me. Crawl towards me Yes, sir Don’t
15.
Water 03:36
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I can’t escape my past mistakes Headed fast for the casket with shattered faith Tryin’ to slash my veins with a plastic blade While you masquerade in a mask and cape All my heroes are dead. I’m near to the edge Tried to talk to God, He ain’t hear what I said I guess I thought if I screamed he would listen Try to keep my head up, on my knees in the kitchen But I just end up in a fetal position Don’t see any difference, alive or dead Back then my only friend was Elijah Craig Lookin’ back I ain’t proud of the life I lead Tried to mend, but I guess I’m a piece of shit Soundtrack to my life, tried to remix it Tried to set the record clear, but the secret is All I ever hear is the needle skip I’m tired of the stress and the drama Where’s the loyalty, respect, and the honor? We’re just lambs being led to the slaughter I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water We’re just lambs being led to the slaughter I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m trying my best but it’s hard though I try to pretend but I’m not whole I ain’t got no friends, all I got’s foes I am at the end of a long rope I’m full of depression and sorrow It’s hard to invest in tomorrow When I have to beg, steal, and borrow Just to pay my rent and my car note I know I made missteps as a father But I’m tryin’ to do what’s best for my daughter And my son with the lessons I taught ‘em I’m here to protect ‘em and watch ‘em Check under the bed for the monsters They’re trying to empty the coffers They’re trying to tempt me with offers But I can’t hold my breath under water I’m tired of the stress and the drama Where’s the loyalty, respect, and the honor? We’re just lambs being led to the slaughter I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water We’re just lambs being led to the slaughter I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m headed straight for an unfortunate fate They try to force you to fake it for the fortune and fame I can’t afford these mistakes, I got a mortgage to pay Wake up in the morning and pray, up at 4 and I skate But I’m short on my faith by a quarter to 8 I’m more than dismayed these days by the disorder displayed No glory is gained, can’t escape the horror and hate The storm is insane, might wash up on the shore in the rain Pray to the Lord every day, but I’m sort of ashamed the way I’ve been pouring this pain while ignoring the flames Take the portion that plagues me and store it away The warrior wakes to slay an assortment of snakes The source of my strain’s the way they’ve been sorting the stakes The story is staged, never grab a sword by the blade Live by the gun, die by the mortar exchange What more can I say? The moral of the story’s the same I’m tired of the stress and the drama Where’s the loyalty, respect, and the honor? We’re just lambs being led to the slaughter I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water We’re just lambs being led to the slaughter I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water I’m tryin’ to keep my head above the water

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released November 27, 2020

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A Rapper Named Nati Three Rivers, Michigan

Three Rivers, MI, based hip-hop artist A Rapper Named Nati has been penning rhymes since 1996. He met Dutch producer Rob Maestro in high school, circa 2004. Fifteen years later, the pair have been anointed Self-Proclaimed Kings. (Pronounced “notty.”)

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